Funny pee stories

Added: Lynnetta Barone - Date: 16.01.2022 00:27 - Views: 39727 - Clicks: 1562

I really appreciated the pee and poo stories shared on the latest episode - it was a comfort knowing other people had embarrassing stories about excreting on or near themselves. I have rarely felt as not-alone as I do right now. I'll start with one I could tell a few though, sadly :. I was 10 years old, and having a sleepover with a friend of Funny pee stories. The fun part was that we were sleeping in his family's trailer parked in their driveway. During the night, I had to pee, so I got out of the trailer and tried to get into the house to pee.

Problem was, my friend had a big German Shepherd-type dog that would aggressively charge the door and bark every time I Funny pee stories to get in. I tried about three or four times during the night to get in to pee, but that damn dog would charge me every time! Out of pure desperation, I found a bucket in the trailer to pee in, which I did discreetly without waking up my friend. Problem was, I left the pee-filled bucket in the trailer when I went home, unemptied. Another problem was, there was a skiprope in the bucket that, for some reason, I didn't take out of the bucket.

I ruined a perfectly good skiprope because I was stupid. On top of all this, there was a perfectly decent lawn in front of the house that I could've peed on! I don't know why, of all things, I decided to pee in a bucket containing a skiprope - and not destroy the evidence - instead of peeing on the nice, urine-absorbing lawn.

My friend never brought it up. But I know they found the bucket. How could they not have? I recently traveled to Vietnam. The first hotel I stayed in had a normal toilet but it had a hose next to it. Feeling adventurous I decided to forgo the TP and give the hose a go. You operate the hose with a small thumb activated button. Rather than test the pressure or gently test the button I opted to press it down full force, scoring a direct high pressure hit on my anus. Sure enough I freaked the fuck out immediately and got everything wet with the hose in the process.

I felt violated. When I was in first grade, I was like a lot of sane children in an insane world terrified by the prospect of using public restrooms.

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I think it was mostly because Funny pee stories developed an overly strong personal space boundary and an unpoliced lavatory full of 1st graders is an environment ripe for pranks that I never wanted to be a part of. To cut to the chase, I pisses m'jeans one day after several thigh-quaking hours of holding it in. For whatever reason, I didn't understand that the smell of freshly-wee'd trousers was the giveaway: my boy self's brain thought the stain was the most reliable mark of peed-pantsdom it is on TV! So, when my classmates began jabbing me for having soaked me drawers, I decided the best course of action was to repeatedly and with increasing conviction assure them that the darker patch on my inner pantlegs was "a NEW pants pattern.

It's a new pants pattern! Shut up! It's Funny pee stories NEW pants pattern! The boys bathrooms NEVER had doors on them, so you just had to shit in the open while ten other kids pointed and laughed. I asked the teachers why, and they just claimed that kids rip the doors off anyway. Apparently we all had Hulk strength and a strong disdain for bathroom privacy. When I younger, one of my after-dinner chores was taking out the trash to a trashcan behind my house.

Near the trashcan and out of site of any windows or the street, there was a tree with moss on it. One day when I was around 10 I decided to do an experiment. I wanted to know if I could kill the moss with my pee. Every time I took out the trash, I would stealthily take a quick pee. The moss wouldn't die, and I eventually gave up. However, I couldn't stop peeing! Everytime I would pass the tree with the moss, I would instantly need to pee, and Funny pee stories too lazy to run back in the house, I would just pee on the tree.

This went on until I went to college. When I came home winter break my freshman year, the tree was gone and so was my need to pee on it. I used to pee on my stepfather's car he's an asshole every time I would come home from a night of partying with friends. After a few months it got to the point where I'd urgently need to pee just seeing his car no matter what time of day, etc.

Even when I'd come back to visit from college the impulse would still be there. He got a new car recently which kind of killed the impulse the last time I went to visit. Though, I'll admit. I did pee on the new car the night I left. When I was 13 I sleep shit on the bathroom floor and then cleaned it up all before laying down and waking up. I was semi conscious and knew that the toilet was a room away- it's separate from thr bathroom but did nothing to stop it and let it go.

I then completely in my sleep, but aware of my actions, picked it uo with a plastic bag, flipped it inside out and threw onto the front lawn. It tool me two weeks to figure out what happened thst night. I don't know why it happened and it hasnt happened again. This is a poo story that doesn't involve my own poop.

But it's still demeaning to me in a fairly blatant way, so I'll tell it. I once worked the graveyard shift at a gas station off the 99 freeway in Bakersfield CA. One night I went to clean the Men's room --employees had their own bathroom so I hadn't seen this all night-- and saw a huge, mostly dry poop laying on the ground next to the wall all smashed up and flat on one end.

On the wall over it some scap, some wit, some wag, had written "Fuck" with it like it was a big crayon they fished out of the toilet. After a second or two the smell hot me and I i stantly puked in the toilet, left the restroom, returned and puked again, this time in the sink.

As I cleaned it off the wall, I thought about how perfect it was that their poop graffiti just said "Fuck".

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Oh, here's another one, one time I had to tell a person interviewing me for a job after the Chevron closed that I had to reschedule because I'd "had an accident" when the smell coupled with and the look on her face indicated that that accident was clearly poo based and we both knew it.

She said they'd call me but oddly enough she never get around to it. It was the summer between grade 9 and 10, I was 15 and the year was There was a local program for teenagers to go on a sailing trip up the St. Lawrence River, where they would mix good students with delinquents I was one of the good students It was a two week trip, four boats. On our first day sailing I had kitchen Funny pee stories, and was spending a lot of my time in the cabin. I get motion sickness easily if I can't see the motion I'm feeling.

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I spent a good hour trying to not be sick, but my stomach was not happy. A few hours later my stomach was in knots, no sailing pun intended and I had to run to the toilet bowl is like a quarter of the size of a regular toilet. You're not peeing and pooing into water, there's this metal plate that moves out of the way when you're done a little water comes out and rinses out the toilet and everything goes down.

I filled the bowl, but it wasn't solid poo, it was like mud and that metal plate would not move. They made me clean that bowl out with a spoon. When I was younger, I stayed up very late. Funny pee stories still do, but I used to too. My dad was very strict and woke up extremely early. I kept them in the closet and it was super gross. I recently had a lucid dream where I was working for my parents, while wearing gym shorts, fell asleep on the job, and when my dad woke me up in a rage, I tried to stand up, shat myself and fell back into it.

I imagine a psychiatrist would have a regressive field day with this. My grandparents used to have a dairy. It was pretty big, and I used to play in the milkhouse and the barn when the cows were out to pasture.

Funny pee stories

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16 Adults Reveal Their Hilarious Stories About The Last Time They Peed Themselves